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The family was named Kiwaida, from Kiwa, the goddess of crustaceans in Polynesian mythology.
That's me!!!!!!!!!!!



http://www.cnn.com/2006/TECH/science/03/08/furry.lobster.ap/index.html

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To outsiders one of the most peculiar characteristics of American society is the indiscriminate display of goodwill toward perfect strangers, a quality referred to as "friendliness".
-Golden Arches East
Mcdonald's In East Asia

I have finals starting right around next week but i'm feeling the urgency of the situation yet. I could be studying. Or completing my paper that is part of my final project on the mentally ill in our prison system. Yet i don't feel as if i am procrastinating.

Everyone should read more. And not just magazines. Like real books. I don't think I read enough in high school. What was I doing in my spare time? I really can't remember.

my weekend was interesting. I've recounted the experience so many times now that i'm starting to think it wasn't all that interesting. but it was i swear. it involved a lot of walking and a lot of waiting.

Seeing that I've neglected to update my livejournal in a few days, months, practically SEMESTER, this might be a long one..

I really miss writing my everyday observations and reflections. For example, Matthea gave me a cappucino merange (sp?) cookie today and I haven not eaten once since Nina's mom gave me one at the Portuguese table at the Multi-Cultural fair my junior year. I realized that Merange (sp????) cookies are what I would imagine chalk to taste like if only they were edible and tasted good.

uploading pictures on facebook is getting addicting. now i understand why within an hour of the Chapin Black and White party was over, Allison Hutchings already had all her picturse uploaded. It's kind of sick.

I've been reading up on Wal-mart lately and their plans rape and pillage communities, leaving behind a trail of healthcare costs subsidized by the government because they don't pay their employees enough so that they can afford health insurance and so they depend on government healthcare programs and charity or just plain abstinance from healthcare at all.

they are building a new wal-mart in Hadley, MA. Just a few miles from Northampton, MA where I go to school. A wal-mart in Hadley already exists. yet, this terrible corporation gets greedier by the day and wants to abandon that big box they currently occupy and build another one close by, wrecking havock on the wildlife that reside in the area wetlands , the same wetlands that are essential for flood control. The new Wal-mart will help add another 10 minutes to bus routes and thousands upon thousands more cars to the already trafficked to death Route 9!! I went to a protest organized by one of the unions, www.sprawlmart.com and some other organizations. It was a rally and held in the parking lot of the current wal-mart. We also stood along side route 9. People honked and waved out their windows, gave thumbs-ups, hooted, and gave peace signs. Some others just pretended like we don't exist or screamed "I LOVE WAL-MART!!"

I don't hate people who shop at wal-mart, don't get me wrong. Afterall, Americans sure love a bargain. Wal-mart is convenience, it's got everything and in some places, even hair salons and bowling alleys. That's pretty terrific. What I don't like is that they use sweatshop labor, discrimmate against women and the disables. They have also violated many child labor laws. On top of that, i hate smiley faces. THere is no reason this should happen. Wal-mart rakes in almost $300 billion in annual sales. THey could easily pay their workers better wages and offer affordable health insurance. Hell, they could easily pay for all our health insurances. Some people may love wal-mart but i love a living wage and healthcare.
( sprawlmartCollapse )

I reaaaalllly like anthropology. We are reading some damn interesting books like The Spirit Catches Me and You Fall Down. Its about Hmong culture and American Medicinal culture and when they interact, i mean collide. I'm trying to do my FIrst Year Seminar project but its really tedious. I need to read up on the effects of deinstitutionalization of mental hospitals and the effect it has had on the prison system. It's super interesting and this class has definately been a catalyst in my curiosity about mental health and homelesses (which there is a lot of in Northampton).

I am visiting Jason next weekend!!!!!! It's Founder's Day at his fraternity, Pi Kappa Phi and I've yet to see the inside of their "castle". I was skeptical about the castleness of castle but then i visited and yep, they live in a palace. and i only saw the outside. But anyway, this long distance thing is working for me. I don't like it and it does take a considerable effort on both sides but it's well worth it. Who said long distance doesn't work? Oh, well, it does take money (bus tickets are $60...) and time (travel time blows) and well....
i guess it's not easy.


p.s. jason says travel time blows but time travel rocks. its hard to disagree

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I found myself missing my family for the very first time this week. I think my visit to RPI to see Jason + stress from what seems to be neverending schoolwork and reading + 40 days and 40 nights of RAIN + plenty of other variables are responsible for my general homesickness. I don't even know if I'd call it homesickness because when I think of "home" i don't think of my house; I think of people and conversations and shared experiences and food and silly faces and embraces. I actually miss my dad which is a totally new feeling for me. I wish I knew him better. I haven't been homesick since my parents shipped me off to live with Grandma in Taiwan in 1992, and even then it was a different feeling of homesicknes because I was with a familiar person in a familiar place. I had seen Smith for all but a few hours before coming here permanently. Even my sheets and pillows and general bedthings are foreign. I bought them a week before moving here. I never imagined missing sweatshopping for my parents or manhandling bagels. The bagels here are mighty nasty.

I realized this week that my future is completely (or atleast mostly) dependent on me and no one else. I am responsible for myself, and I am not talking about dirty laundry or eating every meal but what I learn and how I learn and my major and my career and my life and what I choose to make of it. And that is terrifying. Petrifying. I have also been so immersed in my First Year Seminar (the one on the evolution and transformation of northampton state hospital) that I am damn near convinced that I might be mentally ill and someday I may end up homeless. Crystal, however, assured me that would not happen.

There are so many organizations to join, new things to try, foreign countries to explore, and fascinating people to meet that....I think I am overwhelmed. I wake up most mornings with the weight of all my fustrations on my chest and panicking to myself: What did i forget to do? What do I need to do today? How many more pages to read? What about me and jason? Is my piercing infected? I have to plan the Halloween party, dammit! and get dry ice! Africa is depressing and I feel so helpless about it. Is my sweatshirt made in a factory that pays their workers a living wage? Should I take micro-economics before macro? I'm going to be homeless.

And goddamit I'm in such a amazing place of learning!! My mom is the best person ever, even when I think she's not. I was all misty-eyed today when my roomate got back and she hugged me and it was pleasant. I hate crying infront my people, especially my parents. I had this huge lump in my throught when I was around them all yesterday and today. I think it might even be cancerous. I feel so silly crying but I can't help it. I'm eternally greatful for them making it possible for me to come here and the bagels my dad gave me and the painting my sister painted for me, and their general trust in me. I barely trust myself. It's so fucking difficult.
It's difficult when you go to a school where nearly everyone is so smart it blows you away and they have accomplished the most amazing exceptional things.

I did however get a 95 on my first essay on space and land development and my personal experience with it and a 100% on my south africa map quiz and my first chinese test/quiz/thingggg. Maybe I can be exceptional too. and not ever be homeless. besides, there are worse things.

Okay, I'm going to work on my second essay now. It's so open-ended. Basically, write about Augusten Burrough's Running With Scissors and discuss whether you think it is a memoir or a novel and it that even matters and basically whatever the fuck else comes to mind. I think I'm going to say that it doesn't matter because no one cares except the family that is suing the author. I think I'm going to compare the author/main character's chilhood with Dante's Divine Comedy, particularily Inferno. Everything sucks and is depressing but in the end, the message is uplifting and even inspiring.

Northampton State Hospital


bowling with jason and his cool friends who i have no photos of




he tells me he looks like Thing 1 and 2 and I agree


RPI makes you tough.



I think Smith has made me a less of a lesbian. "You like what you lack" (says Jason circa 2004).

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I've only recently began to like chocolate. But not any kind of chocolate, only belgian dark chocolate. And suddenly I can't stop eating it. I went to Cornucopia, the local health foodstore, and purchased 3 bars of dark chocolate which came to a total of $7. Dolfin Chocolat is amazing and if i don't stop this addiction, the freshman 50000 is going to catch up to me. A small price to pay for my oral fixation. Which brings me to another point, recently I haven't been able to concentrate without having something, anything in my mouth. Am I homesick?

Smith rules, my roomate rules, the food rules, the classes rule, but I today I felt like something was missing. It was a beautiful warm day but I didn't have anybody to share it with so I was so happy when Lynea and I went outside to catch up on our reading on the lawn. I was reading my Anthropology book. It's a little dry but its unbiased so I like it. I'm going to consider that for my major.. It's a major for someone who wants to do everything.

this is my house, Chapin. It's in the best location. Only a few minutes walk from the academic buildings, downtown Northampton, and the campus center. It's bathroom was recently renovated, the house is AIR CONDITIONED, and we have good dining.


my room. I like it, it's cozy. Unfortunately, its a double that used to be single so i don't have nearly as much room as my neighbors but it doesn't really bother me. plus, i put up ( wall paper...Collapse )

we like having picnics outside.


We went downtown yesterday for a tag sale to benefit Hurrican Katrina victims. I picked up a funny looking care bear and a holey sweater that i've grown very fond of in the past several hours.
Lynea made out with a cute dog. she also looks like a better julia roberts.




We met some interesting people who work at the Freedom Center in Springfield. It's a place for psychiatric survivors who learn to deal with their issues through healthy diets, exercise, therapy, art, and holistic health care. SO...no drugs. I'm taking a First Year Seminar about the evolution and transformation of northampton state hospital..once known as Northampton Lunatic Hospital so i'll be learning alot about mental illness. I'm pretty ignorant about that so this'll be a really good learning experience for me.

Course selection for the fall semester:
Intro to Anthopology
History of South Africa (my only 200 level, whew..)
FYS: evolution and transformation of northampton state hospital (yay! small class size!)
Chinese I Intensive (then i'll be able to write letters to my grandma who is currently being hospitalized)
Rock Climbing (i'm on waitlist..pooey.)

I got my nose pierced! Penelope at Lucky's did it and she's wonderful. And it isn't a bit infected! They also don't use guns.

( to see my sparkly face accent, click hereCollapse )

i want to buy bread here:

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world's ugliest dog.



Allyphantt: i only got a peak and i'm afraid to move this dialogue box for fear of seeing it.
ibndacabbie: i knew you would say that
Allyphantt: why would you show me that?
Allyphantt: you're sadistic.
Allyphantt: if you love me, you wouldn't have shown me that.




speaking of dogs.
i went to NYC with crystal on monday to run some errands for her brother and just chill out. It mostly consisted of standing on long lines. i hate the fucking post office. Then we went to a bookstore and wept over the incredibly overpriced unafforable literature. she was craving some dumplings so we left Columbia and headed down to Chinatown. I attempted to eat curry on the subway train and it was a success! I also introduced crystal to some coconut bubble tea which she thoroughly enjoyed. Then crystal dropped me off by Krispy Kreme in Penn Station for my Smithie '09 meet up. And that pretty much ruled. We ate yummy belgian fries made by real authentic belgian mexicans. mango chutney mayo was delicious!!!! Dana gave us a quick lesson in rugby which sounds incredibly erotic and something i will have to try in college. Alex loves cty. Noelle has a lot of leopards and is dating a short asian yale man. She also informed me after ingesting 4 servings of Coldstones with a sampler spoon that you can eat at multiple dining rooms per meal per day at Smith. Gretchen's enunciation is like...out of a wet dream. i wish i didn't stutter. and Sam goes to a queer youth group ( i didn't know those existed) and loves boring flavors like lemon sherbert (i think i've found a friend). I also waited on a longass line for the bathroom at Starbucks. We also met Lauren (Laura?) an '07 and her two friends. SHe gave us the dirt on Smith. Like where to find drugs (everywhere and anywhere), how many light sources to bring (at least two), what exactly is Cletus the Beaver (a taxidermist beaver and mascot to some house), and what to do if you see a CPR dummy (nothing, its just another mascot). We discussed Convocation Day. Apparently its involves a lot of screaming and nudity... hmmm... Crystal wants to see evidence.

TOMORROW: pomme frites (again!!!!), hookah (yay!), eugene(hopefully, he's a slippery motherfucker), Samah llama (i miss her and her ugly skunk hair), and sex toys.

Oasiodufoaiosd!!!! My birthday isn't for another...2 weeks. but jason gave me his present which consisted of piles and piles of pretty pens AND MY VERY FIRST VIBRATOR!! It's the Silent Rocket by Doc Johnson but its not silent.

malaysian food is scrumptious.

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two days have passed and i have hardly noticed.
i graduated.
signed several dozen year books.
partied hearty. played raquetball at 3am.
fell asleep in jason's bed. he took the pillows. :/
graduation parties.
did not hang out with jeff.
did not sleep.
then slept too much.

my sister looks like she's trying to hang herself.


jason wore a swimsuit and sandals to graduation. sweet motherfucker.


minigolf at caity's party. allthe courses looked like cock and balls.







i'm off to japan and taiwan!!!! hope i don't get SARS. YUMMY FOOOODDDDD. i'm salivating just thinking about it....

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best fuckin' website.

THREE MORE DAYS UNTIL GRADUATION!!!!

then i'm off to Tokyo, Japan!!! for like 5 hours though...then Taipei, Taiwan!!! but only for 2 days though. Then Osaka, Japan for a week! Then Taipei for another two weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG, i get to meet my bazillion relatives, 1/2 of which i've never seen before.

i also just watched the most entertaining episode of trading spouses. vegan mother vs. poacher southern mama BEAT DOWN. well not..its too be continued.

i came to the conclusion many moons ago that Smith students are the best. That idea still holds true seven months later. If you go to smith, leave me a comment and we'll be friends! <3 <3 <3

god, its hot as balls

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woooo woooo!!!!!!!! the senior trip ruled but more on that later...i have to resize and upload 130 pictures from the weekend.

meanwhile, check this out. The fabulous jason livingston has just submitted his latest tshirt design to Threadless.com and is being voted on as we speak. Hopefully it will be printed because i love love love it. here is the link....



ibndacabbie: [Portuguese] Man Of War = jellyfish
Napoleon Bonaparte = greatest military genius of all time (most definitely a "man of war")

+ napoleon's hat looks like a jellyfish


Okay, so Smith finally sent me all the goodies.
+am getting $29,000 in aid
+i wont be given crappy housing even though i recieved the forms late
+i want to be a history major (maybe) and then if this shirt is printed, i will be able to wear it and flaunt the greatest military hero, Napoleon!!!!!!!! not that i support war. but Napoleon is crazy complex and supercool to study! threadless rules so hard.

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i haven't written a real entry in a long time so this will be the best one ever!!! b/c i need to make up for being lazy. besides, last week was the most eventful week in a long long time. first off, i've been accepted to SMITH COLLEGE. Considering that only about 43 people or so were accepted off the waitlist and none at all last year, i feel fucking great! I'm also Student of the Month in my school! It's a little overrated but it's still pretty nifty that some teacher(s) nominated me. Prom was last friday and of course prom weekend. I also got to meet up with Jeff who i haven't seen in 2 years and haven't ever seen for more than 3 days anyway.

actually, its now 10:21 and i'm in no mood to write a long LJ entry. That moment has come and gone. but i will however, post some pictures for all you stalkers out there.

actually, the moment has returned and i feel like talking about my week. okay. but it won't be very interesting.

I had less than an hour to get ready for my prom because my 'rents and i were driving around and around elizabeth looking for the florist who was ACTUALLY IN MY TOWN GODDAMMIT. I made jason wait for like 30 minutes. My hair was a little messy, my makeup was applied on the ride over his house and my nails too.

the de-linting process. Jason sat on his couch and got Nutley hairs all over but he still looks damn sexy.


those dumb flowers were why i was late to jason's house. but they were pretty orchids and were spraypainted pink with glitter!


i think we look bootylicious.


i don't think anyone took a limo to prom. It really wasn't worth it considering prom was at Laffaire which was on Route 22. It was a lot nicer than I expected though. And here is our hot ride. Jason's dad drove us in his old taxicab thingy which the call "the checker" or something. I like the 2-tone A LOT.



( more under the cut!Collapse )

prom is seriously fun. period. You don't need a nice dress or a pretty shoes or a tan or a haircut or even a date to have fun. I definately didn't spend my ENTIRE night hanging on jason. that would be lame and i can do that any other day. And getting a pedicure is dumb too cause its so dark and NOBODY gives a fuck about the color of your toenails. Tans are stupid too. One, the give you cancer. Two, its so dark everyone looks black or hispanic anyway. Also, girls that wore a ton of makeup looked disgusting. Ashley R is sooo beautiful but her blue eye makeup was a bit much. I think she's absoutely gorgeous naturally. I think Jason and I spent the least on our outfits and we looked pretty damn sharp. Jason had cool matching cufflinks. and he was the ONLY one with a cummberbund that reminded me of his house and it is NOT camo. its some strange abstract pattern that is gold, copper, and white. Jason didn't have to pay for a damn thing and my dress was free. Some kid said i looked like Betty from the Flintstones which is a pretty accurate description.

Jason and I drove down to his shore house in Lavalette shortly after prom. I can't believe my mom let me stay down the shore for 3 days!!! its amazing. Either she's fatally ill or finally thinks i won't ever be raped by my friends. or maybe she's disowned me. anyhow, me and jason arrived in our 3 day home at 1;15. We were tired as fuck and went to pick up Andy and Sandra (who is from San Francisco!). They were from jason's summer program, AdventureTreks and are genuine dirty camping kids, The kind i find really sexy and amusing and are always cool. We were tired so we ate bagels and fell asleep. woo woo master bedroom! Its nice to cuddle with your best friends.

The following morning after giving eachother stinky morning breath kisses and brushing our teeth, we made breakfast.

or rather, jason made ME breakfast and i lounged around like a spoiled brat papparazzi and took pictures of him being the man of the house.

( breakfast is the most important meal of the day and i always seem to forget...Collapse )

i think my staying over a boy's house for 3 days has just set a precedence for future sleep overs...muahahaha. my parents should just give up now.

i think i absolutely love the mighty mighty bosstones. I don't know why i didn't enjoy them so much before. i'm retarded.

EDIT:
jason's car tire had a flat not a flight. although a flight would be pretty cool.
and apparently his car is called the checker because it IS a checker.

swiffering the floor was the highlight of the weekend. not dinner or dancing or making hot stinky love or drinking.

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I was inspired by meryl to write my own life story. However, its so long and complicated that I had to cut out a lot. But here is the first installment. stay tuned for the next and next and next.

( This is just age 0-5.Collapse )


i also have the flu. dammit.


*EDIT*
on another note, i read this interview on VH1 with anidifranco and this little bit here makes SOOO much sense and is precisely how i feel about marriage and civil unions.

VH1: You've always been a huge advocate for queer rights. You've been married and divorced to a man. First of all, what is your stance on gay marriage, and second of all, did your marriage influence your stance?

AD: Ohhh, no. That experience...my own experience of marriage is not where my ideals come from. And I would wish a happier, more balanced marriage on anyone queer or straight. Here's my two little cents on "gay marriage," quote-on-quote. I think we should drop the word "marriage."

VH1: Me too.

AD: Oh, AMEN! Basically what we're talking about is civil rights. We need equal civil rights, and the word "marriage" has such huge connotations. When people say "marriage is a religious thing," I say "Give it to them." Give them the word "marriage." Sure, that can be associated with a religious thing and what happens in churches. Meanwhile, I think everyone in the eyes of the state, whether straight or queer, should have civil unions. Then if you want to get married, you go to a church and you get a preacher. But if we're more strategic with our choice of language, it would help us achieve the actual legal goals. I was talking to my friend Susan about Howard Dean, back when he was governor of Vermont, and she complained "Well he took that gay marriage proposal and he watered it down to civil union," and I was like, "But he GOT it, he got it." And that's the way, because as soon as you say "marriage," people are gonna fight, fight, fight for cultural tradition so I say you cannot legislate culture, wejust need to keep our eyes on the prize and be strategic with our language. It is not out of reach.